Gabrielle Union opens up about her journey to undergo in vitro fertilization after multiple abortions.
On Wednesday’s episode of The Daily Show, Union spoke with host Trevor Noah about writing his new essay collection Do you have something stronger? and its “brutal chapters.” The actress and author said she wrote the book after seeing the world “suffer in silos” during the pandemic. She explained that she wanted to tell her story, “because through radical transparency, one breeds community.”
“With this book and the harder chapters that [are] some of the most brutal chapters in my life, in fact I felt a responsibility to share, ”she told Noah.
After the host noticed late at night that some of the chapters describe IVF’s journey and the pain of experiencing multiple abortions, Union admitted that she felt “liberated” and shared her story: “When you have complicated, messy, not-so-biting feelings about something as big as going into motherhood and the journey to motherhood … I felt like a loser.”
She went on to share how the experience affected her and her marriage to Dwayne Wade: “I felt like a failure. I felt like my body had let me down. I had failed me and I had failed Dwyane [Wade], and he deserved something other than me. When you are not physically giving birth to your baby and you have the nine months to attach your baby, it is as if Dwyane and I are in the same boat with Kaav. “Union and her husband Wade welcomed their daughter Kaavia James via surrogate in 2018.
Union said the couple “had to work to create a bond because she was created outside of both of us.” She added that she also had concerns about how her daughter would look at her. “I was so worried that she might not love me that much because I did not give birth to her. Maybe she will not respect me so much because I did not give birth to her. Maybe he will never ever be able to love me completely, completely because I was not able to do this and I will never know. She called the thoughts “brutal” and “heartbreaking”.
She admitted to feeling “defective” by seeing other stories about IVF treatment. “When I read in People magazine about someone who has had a baby via a pregnancy carrier, just like we did, it was basically like: ‘I could not. Found an angel on earth and now our angel is on earth. ‘And there is nothing in between. ”
Writing You have something stronger allowed her to “let go” of her pain. “With this, I know I’m not alone,” she said.
See the interview below.