A bride is being slammed online for her reaction to her partner singing a song to her at their reception, declaring he took the “spotlight to enforce” his “ethnicity,” shocking many with her comment.
The now-viral Reddit post, titled, “AITA for singing a song to my wife at our wedding and making her angry,” has been upvoted 12,800 times with 1,800 comments. The post was shared by Redditor @Aintnosunshinehear, and it was posted in the subreddit “Am I The A ** hole.”
People marrying partners who have different cultures from their own happens every day, and it can present a number of challenges as well. “Issues in cross-cultural relationships include: dealing with religious differences, the loss of one’s identity, unsupportive relatives, regular arguments over small issues, different thoughts on family and relationships or different ways of dealing with conflict,” according to Counseling Directory.
Based on research, dating outside one’s own ethnicity is more popular among people who meet online than those that meet offline. Pew Research Center analyzed a Stanford study, and they found that couples that meet online are in turn “more likely” to be of different ethnicities or races, or of different political affiliations. But the differences between partners almost disintegrate among younger couples. Among couples of all ages, 30 percent who met online are of different races or ethnicities, whereas only 19 percent could claim the same who met offline.
The original poster (OP) revealed they were just married last week, and they and their wife are in their 30s. The Redditor said he was is Mexican, and their wife is “American,” and they both grew up in the United States. In addition, both of their families know Spanish and English.
The OP’s wife planned every part of the wedding “and was a very controlling and nervous bride,” but the Redditor added, “I get that she was stressed.”
During the wedding reception, the Redditor went to the band and asked them to play the song “Te Amaré by Miguel Bosé” so they could sing to their new wife.
“It was the song from [our] first date in a really bad Mexican restaurant, so it became a long-standing joke between us, “the OP expressed.
Apparently, the guests “loved the song,” and the OP’s mother-in-law even cried and told the Redditor “it was beautiful.” However, their partner “seemed upset,” and they asked her what was wrong.
The OP added: “She said I am an AH for taking the spotlight to enforce my ethnicity and not just let the band sing our song for us.”
In a comment, the OP revealed the song occurred after the first dance, and the band was playing “random music” at the time.
“What she meant was that if I wanted to hear that song at our wedding, I should have asked the band to sing it (preferably in English), and not sing it myself for her,” the OP said. “I honestly thought she would love it because I’ve [sung] parts of that song to her countless times. “
Numerous comments poured in over the situation, and people were siding with the OP and bashing their wife. One Redditor admitted the OP sang a song that’s “significant” to both of them at their wedding.
“This incident on its own is a bit of a red flag that she reduced it to your ‘ethnicity,'” they said. “Even ignoring that it was a song that was actually significant to the two of you. Does your culture and ethnicity disappear because you married an American woman? Seems like a pretty racist reaction.”
Another user pointed out that the wedding is both of their days. “NTA,” they said. “And this is a very weird (and concerning) mentality to have — enforce your ethnicity?” What the hell? Trying to basically minimize your impact on your own wedding day is a special piece of Bridezilla hell. “
While a Redditor said they were “sorry to say” that the woman’s comment about the OP “enforcing” their “ethnicity is a big red flag,” adding, “Sorry you made a romantic gesture instead of letting her culturally appropriate a Spanish song to make her more comfortable! “
Many people called the woman a “racist,” and one such Redditor insisted, “Your wife is not only an attention-seeking bridezilla, but also racist, and I think you need to reconsider this marriage.”
Another user added that “singing a romantic song in Spanish isn’t ‘enforcing your ethnicity,'” adding, “She’s racist. I’m Mexican and if my husband did this for me, I would die [because] it sounds so cute. “
Others thought the OP should be seeking a divorce or annulment after the incident. “NTA, get an annulment and try again with a new girlfriend who is not racist,” a Redditor suggested.
Newsweek reached out to Redditor @Aintnosunshinehear for comment.
This is not the only viral moment involving wedding drama. A bride was supported for her refusal to cancel her wedding over her sister-in-law’s divorce. A groom was bashed for doing the one thing the bride told him not to do on the wedding day. A bride banned her sister-in-law from the wedding for being too pretty.